Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Mindless Brain Lint

Like a new yearly planner, I always start out with a bang and somewhere after the 3rd entry, my interest wanes and that’s the end of that.

It’s not that I am so busy crafting that I don’t have the time to blog. I honestly feel that I have nothing worthwhile to write about.

There’s also another element to this whole blogging thing that drives me batty and that is the amount of boasting going on in some blogs that I read. Tada! Look what I made! Look what I did! Aren’t I super fabulous?

Maybe it’s not bragging. Maybe these bloggers have a level of confidence that I don’t. I’ve seen blogs where the poster has taken pictures of and written about a meal they prepared. Everything looks perfect. Wonderful meal, gorgeous linens and a vase full of fresh cut flowers from the garden. OH MY GAWD! It’s like June Cleaver overload. Where do they find the time to do this.

If I photographed one of my meals, it would look something like this:

Now don’t get me wrong, I can fan open the wrapper and spread the French fries out in the most pleasant array. Honestly, I cook dinner about five nights a week (okay, three) but it’s never “picture worthy”. My table “linens” consist of paper towels – neatly folded into quarters.

Last night, we had a big dinner. It was good but definitely NOT photo-worthy. I placed my meal upon our non-vintage, mass produced dining room table that we share with my Singer 7470 (which occupies about 25% of the dining room table at all times.). We ate off plastic plates and used the following collection of my glassware:

This is why you will NEVER see pictures of my meals or my dining room.

Another thing that gets me is the photos these bloggers post of their gardens. Are they living straight out of “Better Homes & Gardens” If I don’t photograph a plant the very day I purchase it, then I’m SOL. Plants and I have never had had a lengthy relationship unless of course you count dandelions or these things:

Which if given the opportunity, would turn into these things: But the Calla Lily is beautiful, you say! I beg to differ. 90% of the time when I peek into the Lily, there is a big fat snail inside. Combine that with the huge prehistoric looking leaves and that’s just enough to compel me to rip them out. However, I’ve discovered that this plant’s root system must go down about 20 feet because no matter how many times, I rip them out, they ALWAYS come back. Sometimes they sprout right in the middle of one of my (dead and/or dying) lavender plants!

In addition to my “black” thumb, I also deal with:

No, this is not a creature from the bowels of hell. This is your typical garden variety mole. His sole purpose in life is destroying beautiful grass. He does NOT do any damage to your neighbor’s dead lawn. He much rather destroy your perfect lawn. The very sod that you just paid an arm and a leg for.

These are the two reasons you will NOT see pictures of my garden.

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