Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I've got you under my skin.....

Being that I am an ardent follower of several blogs, it seems that I spend most of my free time reading them. I've noticed several disturbing trends amongst the bloggers I follow and if they keep this crap up, I'll happily go back to feeding my eBay addiction.

Evidently, there is a Blogging 101 book out there that mandates the following:

Periods Galore
When making a point, insert a period after.
Every.Single.Word. This technique shows your readers that you throw sentence structure to the wind and just gives your blog an edgy feel - just like the hundreds of other bloggers that do it.

"I threw up in my mouth a little".
This phrase is "officially" dead. It was funny the first time I heard it. Now it's just.....stupid

"Loose" for "lose."
No explanation needed.

The choice of Malapropism lovers the world over!

Just Sayin'
Why has it become necessary for people to end every post with these two words?

I have a feeling they are the very same folks who sit near me in the movie theater and laugh through the whole fling-flangin' movie!

And my personal favorite,

Oh hell to the no!

Monday, July 27, 2009

She's Baaaaack!

I knocked myself out of a commission, internet-wise, for a few precious days. A quick visit from my much revered IT dude, Tang, and I am back on track and cooking with gas! Only problem is, I got nothing to write about.

I 'spose I could vent about stuff that irritates me but then I could go on all day. I could mention that someone hacked my Facebook password and posted some inane comments on my behalf. I wondered why someone would even bother to hack a password and my trusty IT guy told me that they could spam my "friends". Doesn't seem that an additional piece of spam email is going to throw anyone over the edge. Most of my friends are over the edge already.

I guess I could ramble on but I'd rather go read my book, "The Mole People". It's about the people who live underground in New York City. Sounds intriguing right?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Thanks Sprinkes!

I've been tagged by Sprinkles; one of the two subscribers to my blog. She's always one to provide comments on my blog and now she's went ahead and given me the Honest Scrap award! This award is given to bloggers who write from the heart.

These are the rules:

1. Tell everyone 10 things about you they may not know but that are true

2. Tag five bloggers with this award

1. I have become seriously addicted to a forum and have even resorted to dragging my laptop in the bathroom when I am getting ready in the mornings to catch up on posts.

2. I've just lost 40 lbs. and am working on another 20 lbs.

3. Even though almost everything I sew/craft is primarily in pinks, I don't have a pink room in my house!

4. My favorite book is Molokai' by Alan Brennert

5. I currently have 24 pairs of pants for work; 18 of them are black (??)

6. Even though I nitpick my husband to death, he is one of the most decent human beings that I know.

7. Everything IS better on a Ritz!

8. I change my sheets every three days

9. I absolutely cannot stand reality television and would prefer to watch reruns of "Dick Van Dyke" instead.

10. I love my little Chihuahua "Bertie" more than any human being should be allowed to love a dog.

In giving this award to my five favorite bloggers:

1. Neamh √Ālainn
2. Someplace in Thyme
3. All in My Cottage
4. Gigi Minor
5. Tamara

Take care!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Bye Bye Kiosk Nazis!!

Do you remember your favorite mall BEFORE kiosks came onto the scene? I used to take pleasure in being able to casually stroll the maul mall while shopping. Shopping for me, was a time to relax. However.....

With the advent of the mall kiosk and their hyper-aggressive sales people, I had to change my shopping habits. I never made eye contact with these folks. When I saw one of these people approaching me, I would instantly become a pseudo-celebrity and whip out my cell phone and be so engrossed in my "conversation" that they wouldn't dare bother me - - but they did.

"Excuse, m'am! Can I ask you a question?" asks the gal with the disheveled hair who happens to be wielding a leopard print flat-iron. I say "Sorry, no time." "Two minutes, I promise" says the over-ambitious young lady. "Please?". "No thanks" I mutter and continue on my way only to be accosted by yet another kiosk Nazi just a few feet ahead whose sole existence is to try and convince me to buy whatever crap he is selling. We partake in the same conversation I had with the flat-iron chick and I quickly find my way to the nearest exit to seek refuge in the front seat of my car.

It got to the point where I found myself planning covert maneuvers; stealthily sneaking from store to store trying to avoid the "kiosk people" at all costs. Shopping had indeed become a pain in the ass!

Yesterday during a visit to our local mall, I had discovered that the lotion squirters, cellular pitchmen and aromatherapy peddlers have all closed up shop. It was at that moment that I felt a little better about the downturn in our economy.

However, in their place, we now have TWO eyebrow threading kiosks (have you seen how they do this??), another that offers reflexology massages (in the middle of the mall!) and a kiosk manned by a "Maytag Repairman-esque" real estate agent.

All THAT being said, if I ever happen to meet the marketing genius behind the mall kiosk idea, I would bend him over and shove a leopard-print flat iron right where the sun don't shine!

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Although you've been gone for over fourteen years, I still love and miss you as much as ever. I never took the time to tell you how much you really meant to me; blame it on my youth. I took things for granted and it took becoming an adult to realize that you were the foundation for almost every happy childhood memory of mine.

If I listen really closely, I can still hear the little ditty you used to hum so often and the smell of Listerine STILL reminds me of you.

You were a purely wonderful part of my life and I hope to God there is a heaven and I hope to God, I'll go there so I can see you once again. Until then, I remain your loving granddaughter.


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

It's Never Too Early to Start!

Actually, it is too early to start thinking about Christmas but I love the way this turned out.

I have been purchasing vintage ornaments from eBay like a madwoman! I had actually wanted to make one substantially larger but the ornaments shown here have actually cost me a pretty penny so far.

Whaddya think?

Monday, July 13, 2009

It's Official! My stepson hates me!

For graduation from high school, my stepson went on a seven-day cruise to Mexico. In these days of the H1N1 virus who knows why his mom would choose Mexico but I digress.

He returned home yesterday with gifts for all of us. He gave my youngest daughter a cute little silver bracelet and hubby got a nice T-shirt from a popular bar in Mazatlan. I expected the usual coffee cup with some sort of Princess Cruise logo - cool, I thought because I needed a new coffee cup.

As he handed me my gift bag, he prefaced the gift with the following comments "I hope you'll like this. I think you'll like it. When I saw it, it reminded me of you. It's cute, ha?"

As I unwrapped this THING from it's Mexican newspaper cocoon, I exclaimed in delight "Oh My God, it's, (long pregnant pause as I tried to figure out what it was), a violin playing dolphin. How cute is that?"

Now bear in mind, throughout the years I have received many gifts from my children. I've gotten picture frames made out of gold spray painted macaroni and Popsicle sticks, necklaces made out of paper wrapped paperclips and was even the proud owner of a yarn necklace strung with fruit loops.

Never have I received something as interesting as this.

Which leads me to the following question, what opinion does my stepson have of me that a horrid violin-playing dolphin reminds him of me? And more importantly, is this made from a breakable medium?

My dearest stepson is not an avid internet user so there is no danger of him finding my review....I hope.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Bad Blogger! No Donut!

If you've been to my blog before, you notice that I made some changes to my background and to the boxes on the right.

Trying to spruce things up a bit BUT don't click on the buttons to the right (except for the Twitter button) 'cause I haven't hooked 'em up to anything. Quite honestly, it's gonna take some reviewing because I can't remember how to do it.

This week would be a good time to do it being that I'm on vacation and all but I think I'd prefer to get out of the house and do something and once I figure it out, it should take five minutes tops. GAWD! I'll just do it now. . Ta da! It was so much easier to just get rid of the buttons!

Life is not fair!!

If it was my Christmas card would look more like this:

(I actually borrowed this thought from a forum that I belong to but I dig Matt Dillon).

Thursday, July 2, 2009

To My Dear Husband.....

My Dearest Husband,

Please disregard my previous letter to you. You have grown to be more wonderful than the day I met you. I love you for being the man I've always wanted. You are very supportive, very kind and very understanding.

I want to let you know that in an effort to save money, I have decided to dye my hair myself. After my friends see this photo, I may be able to make money dying their hair as well:

According to my calculations, at $100 every four weeks for a touch-up, I should save us about $1,200.00 a year. See how frugal I am in an effort to help us financially? Aren't I great?

Have I mentioned how I love that you never get angry about anything?

Your Loving & Obedient Wife

P.S. and by the way, my credit card bill came in the mail today. It's $3,045.
P.S.S. There some dye stuck in grout on the bathroom floor
P.S.S.S There's some on the door as well.
P.S.S.S. And on the new white medicine chest

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

40 lbs. and counting!

To date, I have lost 40 lbs which is equal to the number of new humans in the photo to the left.

It's been an arduous journey to say the least. Starbucks is a thing of the past as are the Friday donuts.

Do I feel better? Honestly? Not really. The reason for the weight loss was partially for vanity but the real impetus was my "broken" digestive tract. I literally spent years in pain and in February after an Endoscopy and finger-waggin' by my Gastroenterologist, I decided to follow the doc's instructions by "Eating to Live" not "Living to Eat".

With the weight loss, came the need to purchase clothes that fit! I am quite relieved to discover that I no longer need to purchase "big gal" clothes. Gone is the need for fabric that stretches . I can actually wear a belt without looking like a dork.

Will I keep the weight off? Only time will tell but as of right now, it's my intention to see "how low I can go"