Textual Intercourse

Dear Society,

I regret to inform you that I have purchased a new cell phone for my youngest daughter. This new cell phone has a flip-out keypad, a camera, a video recorder, comes pre-loaded with games and other software and oh yeah, it places and receives telephone calls! I have purchased the unlimited message plan so I won't have to incur charges equal to the national deficit. Do you know what this means for you?

It means that she will join the throngs of others who wander aimlessly with phones directly in front of them, big grins and thumbs moving faster than the speed of light.

Please accept my apologies in advance for the non-stop barrage of message indicator beeps/tones/music that will be emitted from her new phone.

In the few minutes that I have taken to compose this letter, I have received THREE text messages from my little darling. She has the most important things to say!

Things such as:

funky!

and

this sucks!

and my all time favorite:

I'm bored!

Please note, I am not a fan of text messages. I find it much easier to actually make a phone call rather than to fiddle with those keys but from what I've witnessed in restaurants, movie theaters, concerts, in cars, ANYWHERE, I am not in the majority.

Once again, please accept my sincerest apologies.