Textual Intercourse

Dear Society,

I regret to inform you that I have purchased a new cell phone for my youngest daughter. This new cell phone has a flip-out keypad, a camera, a video recorder, comes pre-loaded with games and other software and oh yeah, it places and receives telephone calls! I have purchased the unlimited message plan so I won't have to incur charges equal to the national deficit. Do you know what this means for you?

It means that she will join the throngs of others who wander aimlessly with phones directly in front of them, big grins and thumbs moving faster than the speed of light.

Please accept my apologies in advance for the non-stop barrage of message indicator beeps/tones/music that will be emitted from her new phone.

In the few minutes that I have taken to compose this letter, I have received THREE text messages from my little darling. She has the most important things to say!

Things such as:

funky!

and

this sucks!

and my all time favorite:

I'm bored!

Please note, I am not a fan of text messages. I find it much easier to actually make a phone call rather than to fiddle with those keys but from what I've witnessed in restaurants, movie theaters, concerts, in cars, ANYWHERE, I am not in the majority.

Once again, please accept my sincerest apologies.

Where do I start?

This morning I discovered that someone "pee'd" on my new down pillow! I'm not mentioning any names.......but when she sleeps, she looks super cute:

So at 4:45 a.m., I stripped the bed, threw the pillow in the washer and proceeded with my morning.

Before I left for work, I made sure that my kitchen was clean - sink was scrubbed, counters were cleaned off, swept the floor, wiped down the microwave, etc. I have a thing about coming home to a relatively clean house.

I KNEW what this was. It's drywall! When I walked through the front door, I saw this:

The wall between my kitchen and living room had vanished!

Mind you, I had a ver-r-r-y tough day today. My work is undergoing "reorganization" which is a sanitized word meaning layoffs. (I'm still employed but who knows for how long).

My co-worker has a slipped disc in her back so I have to do her job as well as my job for the whole week while undertaking a special project as well.


I have a new puppy and work very hard to make sure that the floor is clean so she can't choke on anything.


Did I mention that disarray tends to make me nervous?



I make it a habit NOT to swear on this blog but if I did, I would say %^&* and #$%^&*! and%^&*-%^&*!

I love my husband but it's taking all I can not to wring his ^&* neck!

Gettin' Our Twilight On .....again!

Since I am a parent of an "official" teenager, my youngest daughter and I had to rush out to our local Target to ensure that we could buy the Twilight movie on the day it was released.

We've seen the movie when it was first released in the theatres and I've read the first two books.

I would much rather watching a never ending loop of Twilight than Jon and Kate Plus Eight which is what my youngest has been watching for what seems like forever!! Kate just plain irks me and those screaming meemies, oh Lord!

Live from the Hospital ER

I just ended a three hour stint in the emergency department in one of San Francisco's busiest hospitals on a Friday night

Talk about overcrowded and understaffed! Patients were literally on gurneys in the hallways waiting to be seen.

I can't help but feel like I caught every germ that was floating around that hospital.

Off to take some Airborne and get some much needed sleep!

Stila Creme Bouquet is F-I-N-A-L-L-Y Back in Stock!

................but since I fear that they may "run out" again, I bought three bottles online today. I feel like such a hoarder! But at least I'll be a good-smelling hoarder!

While we're on the subect of showtunes

Another girly-girl song "I Enjoy Being A Girl" by Nancy Kwan. I always that she was just gorgeous and I love "Flower Drum Song". I wish my mirrors worked this way =)

My OCD Song of The Day - Bye Bye Birdie Ann Margaret

A note to my hairdresser

I think we need to see other people.

I've been going to you for at least 12 years now. There have been a few times when I've strayed and found a new stylist but for one reason or another, I always wind up coming back.

I'm not sure why I always come back. I think it's because of the super easy-to-find parking and proximity to my home. Plus I KNOW what my hair will turn out like and for these last three or four years, predictability has been good but now I am ready for a change and it seems you are reluctant to change.

You have to admit, I am a loyal and very easy-to-please client. Thanks to my pigment "deficiency", I get my hair colored every four weeks. Every eight weeks, I get my hair cut and every 16 weeks, highlights. At $60/haircut, $80/touchup and $130/highlights, you can see that I am a steady and veritable "cash cow" and I always tip you at least 20%.

So why are you ALWAYS in a rush? ALWAYS behind schedule? Asking me to come in early or having me wait because you're running behind? Why do you try to stick it to me with overpriced hair products? Why am I always leaving with dripping wet hair?

How come I never get my hair done like my mom used to? When she had a hair appointment, she always came home looking like a movie star. I always come home looking worse than when I went it.......except there's no gray.

It's not you. It's me. I need someone who can give me more

Angela

Last stop before The Poor House!

Sometimes, it seems I spend money just to spend money and in these uncertain times, I should be saving instead of spending.

My purchases are never over-the-top expensive but some times, they are quite odd.

The people at my bank must get a kick out of generating my monthly statement.

In the month of February, I bought:

• A HUGE bag of chicken feed along with five one-day old chickens! After coming to grips with sanity, I canceled the baby chicken order but forgot to cancel the chicken feed order. I can't even begin to describe the look on my husband's face when he took the 50 lb. bag of chicken feed from the UPS driver (yes, 50 freakin' pounds of chicken feed!). I just stood with a vapid stare on my face. How do you explain to your husband that you wanted to buy chicken food and a "chicken" friend for the lonely chicken at work and instead accidentally wound up buying 50 lbs of chicken food when you thought it said 5 lbs. Furthermore, the listing for the baby chickens NEVER said they were one-day old until after I paid for them! However, they were quite a terrific bargain at .65 each!
  
• Next I purchased a puppy - off the internet! She's quite a treasure but most people (most "normal" people, anyway) would balk at purchasing a puppy without actually seeing it. That gamble paid off big time because she's awesome.
• Moving along, I purchased my stepson's tattoo. Since he was a young boy, he told me that the day he turned 18, he wanted to get a tattoo and he wanted me to make him. Flattery will win me over every time. So we (hubby and I) forked over the money to get his "coming of age" tattoo. Of course, after that, I talked to the tattoo artist and discussed ways to cover up a regretted tattoo on my ankle and so there was the down payment for THAT.

So let's see: Chickens? Check! Chicken Feed? Check! Puppy? Check! Tattoos? Check! Oh yeah and I bought a "Buddha Board". What is a Buddha Board you inquire? There's a picture in the upper left-hand corner of this post.

Years ago, I visited this cool New Age/Spiritualist/Religion Boutique and wasted an inordinate amount of time with this with this artistic inspiration set toy.

Yes in all actuality, it's a toy, dammit. Think along the lines of painting water on rice paper. The water dries and like MAGIC, the picture is gone!

Come to think of it, I could've bought one of these for under $4.


You know what they say about "a fool and his money". Anyhoo, hubby says we gotta start savin' more so I guess I"ll be blogging MORE and shopping LESS. Yay

Stila Creme Bouquet - Is It Discontinued or Not??

I can't get a straight answer from these folks and I am so frustrated! I LOVE this scent and judging by the hits to my blog, I am not the only one.

Here's an email I sent to them and the response I received from Stila this morning:

Hmm.....I've been looking and looking and Stila Creme Bouquet is still not available. Believe it or not, I blogged about it and most of the hits to my blog are from others doing a Google search about Stila Creme Bouquet being discontinued.

I've waited long enough and will be searching for my new "favorite" perfume. What a shame.

Angela

Angela,

Unfortunately we do not have stock at this time, we are expecting a shipment in sometime next month. They have not given us a specific date on when it will become available. Please check back with us in a few weeks.

Thank you,

Stila Customer Care

Am I alone in my thinking that "unavailability" is some sort of marketing ploy and when it finally comes back into stock, we will see a substantial price increase?

Are there any of you out there who have found a suitable replacement? And if so, can you let me know? Gwen Stefani's "Harajuku Baby" scent smells pretty good but is a little too young for my tastes.

Thanks and have a great day!

This is the Song I Plan To Torment My Co-Worker with Tomorrow!

Recipe - Corned Beef and Cabbage

1	large sweet onion (Bermuda, Maui or Spanish), sliced
1	well-trimmed corned beef brisket (3 to 3 1/2 lb)
3/4	teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1	cup Progresso® reduced-sodium chicken broth (from 32-oz carton)
1	tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2	cup sour cream
1	tablespoon cream-style prepared horseradish
2	tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

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	About Concordance™

Total Time: 5 hours 30 min

	In 5- to 6-quart slow cooker, place onion. Thoroughly rinse beef; discard seasoning packet. Place beef on onion; sprinkle with red pepper flakes. Mix broth and Worcestershire sauce; pour over beef.
.	Cover; cook on Low heat setting 8 to 9 hours.

Our Baby Chi, Berty

Our Little Miss Berty is getting along just fine! I don't have much opportunity to photograph her as either she is glued to my side or she's running around like a little psycho terrorizing our two cats.

We are having lots of fun with her!

Spring Ahead! Fall Back!

At 2 a.m. tomorrow morning, the West Coast will officially gain another hour or so of daylight. I'm not sure why we change back and forth. As a child, I was told that it was so farmers could have extra daylight to tend to their fields. Dark or light, I have no fields to tend to but I do appreciate the extra daylight.

Aside from having an extra hour of daylight, there's one more miracle that Daylight Savings Time brings - the clock in my car will be accurate! It's been about an hour slow (or is it fast?) for the last 4 1/2 months. When I purchased my car, the "system" (that's new school for "radio") had been upgraded yet they forgot to include the manual!

I've pushed every button; every combination of buttons. I've pushed buttons while it the radio was on, pushed more buttons while it was off - no dice! Daylight Savings Time seems to be my only solution. So until that dreaded day early morning in November when we go back to Standard time, the clock in my car will be right!

All is good!

Thanks again, Jason!

Most moms wouldn't take their 18 year old sons to get a tattoo but then I'm NOT like most moms. While we are by no means "white trash", I like to refer to us as "white clutter".

Anyhow getting back to the topic at hand:
Ever since my stepson was a young boy, he told me that when he turned 18, he wanted to get a tattoo.

Rather than have him venture to some seedy tattoo shop with questionable hygiene practices, I brought him to an upscale tattoo shop to get his tattoo, Daly City Tattoo in Daly City, California. He had an initial consultation with the shop's owner, Jason and last night, Philip got his tattoo

I urged my son to research a design and because I believe that tattoos are symbolic of one's life, I "helped" him to decide that a baseball would be the best choice.

Philip's been an avid lover of baseball since his little chubby fingers could get a firm grip around a baseball. He's played in Little League, Bronco's, the Local Joe D League and plays on his high school's varsity team. I'm hoping I can retire when he hits the Big League!

I love the way his tattoo turned out although it's substantially larger than I had envisioned. I must say that when he got into the chair, things got a little dicey. He began to sweat profusely, turned a scary shade of green and the tattooist declared a brief break. We brought him outside, gave him some juice and a piece of chocolate and the kid was like brand new!

After his 2-hour session was over, my son proudly proclaimed that he was ready for the NEXT tattoo. Visions of lifewreckers (neck tattoos) popped in to my head. Oh. Hell.To.The.No! What madness have I unleashed? Actually, the cost of his tattoo should be enough of a deterrent for a while.....